So, you have decided that now is the time to propose. Whether you have been with your partner for 10 years or 10 weeks, you should still take some time to think about this huge commitment. Of course, if you know they are the one then you shouldn’t wait for the world to pass by. You should however make sure that you have asked yourself some important questions not influenced by the opinions of others. This will be your life and your marriage. Being entirely certain if this choice will be the kindest decision you make for both you and your partner. In this blog post, we will discuss all of the essential questions you need to ask yourself before you get down on one knee. Take a look at the following suggestions:
Are you in love?
Let’s set things off with the most important question. Determining if you are really in love is not always simple, and if you are not sure, then chances are you might not be. Those of us who have experienced what it feels like to be in love are completely confident about the question. No doubts or opposed options can make us shift from this perspective. If you can not determine what it means to be really in love, but you can say you love the person, you might be getting engaged for the wrong reason. Explore this question and decide whether you are happy to marry someone you simply love and care for, as opposed to being utterly connected to and smitten by.
Why is now the right time?
Secondly, you need to ask yourself why now is the right time to be getting engaged. Why didn’t you get engaged a month ago, why are you not waiting for another year, why now? If you are getting engaged because you are ready to spend the rest of your life in a union with your partner, that’s great. If you have decided you are getting married now because you don’t want to see your partner with another person, are you getting engaged for the right reasons? Consider this before you rush into things.
Does his/her family like you?
Many opinions differ when it comes to talking about family. Some people are huge on family, and others are not too fussed about the concept of joining two families together, and instead focus on the partnership. If your significant other’s family does not like you and they are someone who values their family over everything else, you should spend more time building this relationship and figuring out how you can win their approval. If they do not like you simply because they are protective, be kinder to yourself as there is not much you can do. If you have made mistakes in the past that they are holding against you, work on yourself to reassure them that you are a changed person.
Have you spent enough time living together?
Many people agree that living together can be a deal breaker. Spending time together when you live in separate homes is one thing, but seeing them in their natural state and seeing their bad habits for the first time can change the dynamic of the relationship. If your religion forbids this, that is completely understandable and you should not worry. But if you can, make sure you have spent at least 12 months living in the same environment, navigating the dynamics of the relationship. You might find that they are the perfect match and they fit your habits perfectly. On the other hand, you might face some barriers that mean you need to work through things. The true test is if you can both compromise and find common ground.
Are you able to communicate effectively after a fight?
Speaking of finding common ground, are you able to talk after a fight? I mean communicate and come to a resolution. If either you or your partner is commonly known for explosive arguments in which you struggle to sit down and listen to each other, you need to consider this before you propose. A healthy marriage cannot be built on broken foundations. If you are not able to have an adult conversation and acknowledge your partner’s perspective, you should get this
Do you share the same interests?
Two people can still be the perfect match but still like different things. Having at least a few things in common is important, however. For example, if your partner loves golf, spends most of his free time doing golf, and spends little to no time with you, this will only get worse once you are married. If you do not yet have activities that you enjoy doing together, find something. It could be going to new food spots and testing exotic cuisines, or even going on big hikes once a month. Find the thing you both love and then consider proposing.
Is your gut telling you anything?
They say the gut feeling always holds the truth, and this is usually true. Whatever your gut is telling you, make sure you listen and try to process where these feelings might be coming from. If something seems off, take some time to write down these thoughts and feelings. If a lot of problems in the relationship start to come up when you listen to your gut feeling, perhaps you should hold off the engagement until these issues are addressed.
Do you have the same vision for the future?
Getting engaged to someone is essentially securing your future. Although you might share the same desire to get married, do you share the same vision for the future? If for example your partner wants to travel the world, and you want to stay at home and build a family, you might need to discuss what you both want out of life. The last thing you naturally want is for your partner to hold resentment against you for not being able to follow the life they envision for themselves. If you both have the same vision of working hard together and creating a family, then they will likely align with your values and future.
Are you both in a good place financially?
Finally, you need to consider if you are both in a good place financially. As much as getting engaged is a beautiful experience, do you have the budget to get your partner the antique engagement ring they have always dreamed of? Or are you struggling to pay the rent right now? Hold off on the engagement if you need to if you are both struggling financially, although there are ways to save money on your wedding venue. It will mean much more when you can afford the wedding you have always dreamed of.